Psychic Callers Anonymous

TaurusGem wrote:

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The truth is, I didn't like the current reality - being abandoned, alone, no explanation, how could someone love so much and show it in actions and say it in words and then one moment it's all done with? And how am I the last to figure it out? 

How is it possible that a person who you've seen be so caring and loving and kind, your biggest supporter at times and best friend, could disappear into the night, so to speak? And you're left wondering if you will ever hear again?

I didn't want to accept that reality as true, I STILL don't, so it's like - please yes tell me over and over again that that is NOT how it turns out. I need this story to make sense to me. 

But I'm slowly finding ways to realize I will never understand it, nor approve of it, but the tricky part is not becoming bitter in general because of it, and how am I gonna trust other guys? IDK.

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 Yes for me too, that there was hope for me, that I would be loved.  For me, after a very long marriage, by the time I go out there again, it seems internet dating crap was on the upswing.  It seems that every guy I met ( not online) met someone else.  And oh my gah.... The **** I heard from these guys.... One guy i was with for 3 Years, he moved and theN Pulled the silence crap.  Very very cruel.  The last we spoke we were on the phone for three hours.....then nothing, they all said how he wanted me back.   It's been over 4 years now since I have spoken to him.  Money down the drain. 

But yeah, some kind of explanation.  Wouldn't that be nice, but I learned the very hard way that psychics aren't giving you that,  the hope they give you is false. 

OMG that is exactly what happens to me!  Like with the last 10 men!  One asked me to dinner. Then a few days later asked me when would be a good time so I told him the evenings I was available that week and BAM! never heard from him again. 

Then another asked me for coffee and again, I told him when I was available and I never heard from him again. 

WTH?  I've never experienced this EVER.  

The other thing is they never want to talk on the phone! They only text.  I don't want to meet someone without talking to them.  It's really weird. 

The only guy that would have been an option and was promising texted me songs to put on OUR playlist and we hadn't even spoken on the phone yet!  Then when we did, he was really awesome but he was acting like we were already in a relationship and we hadn't met yet!  It was just weird. 

A response in multiple parts:

The ghosting thing suuuucks. I've been ghosted a lot. You're talking, you think it's going well... and then you never hear from them again. I once had a guy make plans with me, text me the day of to say he had to reschedule, and then he never talked to me again! Whatever to him I say.

I will say though; as far as the constant rescheduling thing? It could be just fear on his part. Not to say that you should accept constant rescheduling. But some people just get afraid and are more flight instead of flight. They keep rescheduling because they want to take a chance but then get skittish and back down.

The trick to not becoming bitter? Learning from it. it's hard, but every instance in life has something to teach us. Yes you can be upset, it's an upsetting situation and it's painful. But don't sit and stew. However, also don't force yourself to move on before you are ready. It's perfectly fine to make friends, to reconnect with old friends, to meet new people. But trying to force yourself on dates or force yourself to move on before you are ready won't help matters and it's not fair to you or to anyone. 

Don't discount someone just because of distance. My ex also lived 2 hours away, and sure we are exes now, but it was one of the best relationships I've been in (and yes I am still hoping we will get back together haha). 

But besides that, if it weren't for my ex I wouldn't have the amazing group of friends that I have now. I truly found my tribe in his group of friends. They were so warm and open and have been there for me through this breakup, and were a great support when I went through a large friend transition and lost a bunch of friends (including my two best friends) due to differences of opinion and just growing apart. They have held me up, supported me and to be 100% no bull****ting honest? They have treated me better in the short few years I have known them than the old "friends" I had that I had known since childhood. I am so glad I have such a great group of friends now and I can honestly say it is all thanks to him. 

Remember: Just because you are meeting this person doesn't mean it has to turn into anything. You might make a new friend who introduces you to someone who does become the One.